Feeling Down...

some various thoughts/feelings of mine at the moment:


i feel like i keep coming to the same realizations over and over again despite how much my life continues to develop. i still think that one of my greatest blessings is also one of my greatest curses and i still feel as though i will forever be apart. i no longer feel alone, but i still feel apart. this may sound like whining, but i feel like people just don't understand me and very few take the time out to try and do so. i also feel torn between two different lives - which do i choose? it seems impossible for me to live both. once again, blessing and curse.

though i think i'm doing well overall, there are still times when i really miss Poppy. it's hard to believe it's been a year to this day that my life was forever changed. my memories are all good, i have no regrets or doubts about our relationship, and i know that i will never forget him or the lessons he taught me, but there are still moments where i just wish he was here. whenever i was feeling down, i knew i could count on him for his own special encouragment, strength, and love. he believed in me so much that he made me believe in myself. i would not be who i am today if it weren't for him. in many ways, he's still with me, but i still can't help but miss him sometimes...